Are you rushing your pole journey?
As a studio owner, I see this time and time again, AND I also felt this... The need to rush my pole journey.
It's like something takes over you and you just want to learn the next thing and the next thing, and you don't want to stop until you know it ALL!
Reality check! You are never going to know it ALL!
There are so many pole moves and variations to keep this fun sport…. FUN! There are new tricks and new elements to master, like splits or backbends, choreo and all the different choreo styles.
I have even had conversations with people who tell me they want to get into advanced so they can say they are an advanced pole dancer. Being intermediate sounds so "boring". Have you ever felt this way?
Why does it matter what level of pole dancer you are? I guess this comes back to your purpose. Why did you start pole? To be the best? To have fun? Meet new people? I think it is really important to take the time to reflect on why you started.
I would love to know why 22-year-old Steph started pole dancing. I told myself I was looking for something different. However, in reality, I didn't have a lot of friends, so I think I sought connection. I was far from confident. And I was super intrigued. Pole was still so 'underground' at the time, and while competitions and studios existed, they were hard to find.
If you are in pole to be the best, then the level does matters!
You might be thinking… But Steph, why can't I rush through my pole journey? Especially if I seem to be nailing everything quickly?
I would ask you two questions.
Are you over-training?
Is your body actually ready to do the tricks?
Why are these important? To prevent injury! Imagine if you couldn't pole for six or more months? It happens, and overtraining and your body not being ready to do those tricks can contribute.
If you are feeling a little called out right now, you are not alone. Many, MANY pole dancers want to tick a trick (sometimes only on one side) and move on. AND the behaviour is instinctual.
Let's dive into instant gratification and the 'pleasure principle'.
All of us know the pleasure principle. It is the desire to gratify our needs, wants and urges. Some of these needs include breathing, eating and drinking, all the things we need to stay alive! But sometimes it is the need to have the splits or just to get that pole trick, because everyone else got it! If we don't indulge in the pleasure, sometimes our response can be anxiety or tension.
To give it a definition, instant gratification is the desire to experience fulfilment or pleasure without delay. Generally speaking, when you want something, you want it NOW! Do you resonate with this?!
For me, I know I have had this desire in my flexibility journey! I've pushed my body way too hard because training flexibility takes SO much time and consistency; if I'm honest, it's a little boring! I would find myself pushing that little harder each time to get that little closer…. And I have torn my hamstring and adductors more than once. After working with professionals, I understand more about my body and why that is so hard for me to achieve. But at the time, I just wanted to do the splits!
Unfortunately, our desire to get instant gratification can be increased thanks to the instant feedback we get from our devices. Do you remember having a phone with 3G connection? (or am I showing my age )... Anyway, now when we have a 3G connection, it is FRUSTRATINGLY slow…… How did we live like that?! This applies not only to internet speed but also to connection with people and instant feedback through likes and comments.
Think of this in the pole studio: What usually happens when you achieve a new trick? Your pole instructor or buddies may cheer you on or congratulate you, maybe give you a high five, and it feels good right?! When you grade up or go to a new level and are learning new things feels good too! But what about when you get to a new level or learn something new, and your body can't comprehend the movement? Or you feel like you can't achieve anything. When I think of this, I think about a saying I remember in the corporate world. "You are promoted until you surpass your competency level", and then you will find people may start to fail, despite all their efforts.
In the pole world, if you are at an advanced level and you have not worked on your strength or your mobility, you may find something similar occurs. You may have surpassed your competency level, and you start to fail , whether through injury or just being unable to achieve a trick. That's when you might look for new challenges like competitions or being an instructor because you want to seek gratification and may even validate yourself.
If this has resonated with you, you NEED to listen to Uncovered Episode: Your Pole Journey: Why do you want to rush it? The episode shares tips on how to become more aware of seeking instant gratification and how you can slowly work towards breaking that desire.
Pole is fun, it is challenging, it is achievable, it has connection and it is great for your mental health. It's important to remember pole is always going to be there.
